Urban Fantasy

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Messaging v. bad

Thank god for workplace banter. How did people survive politics before IM?

EJ (4:33:10 PM): do you also feel a strange... letdown?
EJ (4:33:46 PM): the whole reason i'm a sox fan is because of the borderline clinical devotion they inspire
EJ (4:33:54 PM): i'm a sucker for groupthink like that
EJ (4:34:07 PM): but now... we can't be martyrs
R (4:36:55 PM): true
R (4:36:59 PM): it's a bit... weird
R (4:37:02 PM): disassociating
R (4:37:11 PM): although, what will yankees fans do now without the 1918 cheer?
EJ (4:39:27 PM): i bet they'll replace it with taunting the cubs
R (4:39:44 PM): nah, now they'll just start whining about 26 rings
EJ (4:40:12 PM): i truly feel that this is an omen for next week
R (4:40:24 PM): Good Triumphs Over Evil
R (4:40:26 PM): Up is Down
R (4:40:29 PM): Left is Right
R (4:40:31 PM): Black is White
EJ (4:41:41 PM): self-defeating group with loyal yet masochistic base defeats dynastic power-hungry wealthy rulers of the realm after years of being beaten by their own errors and the greed of the evildoers
R (4:42:36 PM): wow
R (4:42:44 PM): you just freestyle that on the spot?
EJ (4:43:08 PM): why can't i find a way to get paid for this???

and later...

EJ (4:58:26 PM): you realize what we have to do now, right?
EJ (4:58:29 PM): BET
EJ (4:59:41 PM): i dare you to show confidence in your felony-stackin-up, class-flunkin GAME-LOSIN boys
R (5:00:23 PM): name the price, little girl
R (5:00:27 PM): no
R (5:00:28 PM): in fact
R (5:00:30 PM): here's the deal
EJ (5:00:43 PM): ok
R (5:00:52 PM): when the Buckeyes win, you can take me out for a night of heavy alcohol consumption
EJ (5:01:01 PM): i'll do you one better
R (5:01:01 PM): and I may even let you have one or two, also
EJ(5:01:16 PM): when the wolverines kick buckeye ass, you take ME out for the alcohol
EJ (5:01:23 PM): and i choose what shirt you wear out
EJ (5:02:23 PM): now will it be my rosebowl 2000 T, or the really garish "hail to the conquering heroes" number i bought on the street?
EJ (5:02:28 PM): oh, decisions, decisions!
R (5:02:47 PM): IT'S ON, SISTER
R (5:02:53 PM): GRUDGE MATCH
EJ (5:03:20 PM): BRING IT

And for the record, there is nothing shameful about seasonal, shallow feelings for a sports team. After all, boys fake all sorts of feelings.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Son of a Preacher Man

Am becoming increasingly concerned that the election will end up split 269-269 with Kerry winning the popular vote. Am not so worried for actual lives of working Americans should this be the result, since we have all managed to limp along under the "leadership" and "guidance" of W, but worry that it will be brutal for America's already stained reputation. Like the slutty girl from high school who tries to start over at college, we are being given a chance to do the smart thing and make amends to both ourselves and those around us. Nevertheless, I'm afraid that against its better judgement, this nation will get drunk at a frat party and wind up getting gangbanged by a group of basketball players on www.skankyfreshmangirls.com.

In other, only slightly less disturbing news, last night I a) paid nine dollars to see "Surviving Christmas" and b) was informed by my mother that she's setting me up with some guy her cousin knows, who she thinks I will really like because "his father's an Episcopalian lay minster and his mother fundraises for the Detroit Zoo."

In the words of K, "I mean, when I think of guys who fit your type, the first thing i think is 'son of clergy.'"

Shall I OD on Toasted Head and Advil next Wednesday morning or just get it over with now?

Monday, October 25, 2004

Eight Days Until I Can Tap-Dance

My weekends, like much of my life, seem increasingly to fall into one of two categories: utterly lazy and forgettable, or full of colorful moments of Urban Fantasy Bliss involving outdoor cafes, books impressive to the nosy and judgmental passerby and holding court at not too-tragic yet not oppressively hip bar. It's an increasingly bipolar dichotomy that is still amusing, but I can see that it will someday soon feel too isolating and thin to rest on. There are much worse things than waking up and POOF! you're twenty-six, with only a few grand in the bank and relatively clean room full of books and knicknacks to show for it. Still, have been repeating the mantra "after the election, after the election," in regards to anything that would give my life forward momentum... taking the GRE, looking for a new job, tap-dancing lessons, etc. Now that the election is upon us, that mantra is morphing into "after the holidays, after the holidays," as if November and December are not really months but time-sucking vortexes that allow us to shop and watch a lot of VH1 clip shows but not actually contribute to society or our own well-being beyond basic job duties and personal hygiene; then come January, we snap back to work, attacking outstanding tasks like starved wolves.

Did come into work this weekend tho, which was good for both business and my own image. Helped to burnish standing with RB, plus was able to sort through billing madness with aid of CD collection and rampant swearing on own part. Thank god the worst is almost over. Tho really, does it ever end here?

Friday, October 15, 2004

Baby I'm Gonna Have Me Some Fun

TGIF. Echoing the cries of yuppies everywhere, I thank God that it is indeed Friday and I can start the weekend that have been looking forward to for so long. Actvities include:

1) Bad Taste/Housewarming Party for BMK, where can finally experience the thrill of wearing 17 unfortunate trends while drinking wine coolers and forties of Olde English

2) Pumpkin Patch! Part of being Urban Yuppie Scum is treating the suburbs as a quaint playground preserved from another era, much as suburbanites view Colonial Williamsburg. Will drape self in warm fuzzy blanket of nostalgia while shelling out obscene amounts for donuts and pumpkin that will ultimately rot on doorstep.

3) Sing-Along Sound of Music! I don't dare anticipate the level of joy that could be attained.

4) Dad visiting Sunday evening! Though will no doubt have to have uncomfortable finances talk, will be nice to see him again. Am determined to try to stick to happy topics, unlike last time saw family and got so upset over RB drama that drank entire bottle of Toasted Head and wound up crying in basement as houseful of guests streamed past averting their eyes. Not good times.

Just gotta get through today...

Thursday, October 14, 2004


R(12:54:08 PM): i went to clemens first attempt at 300 on memorial day last year
R (12:54:15 PM): in the bronx
R (12:54:23 PM): and wake outdueled him and it was beautiful
R (12:54:33 PM): but the point is, i almost got in a brawl in the LF stands over it
EJ (12:56:16 PM): you are the wind beneath my wings
R (12:57:11 PM): yes, well... my date was less than impressed
EJ (12:59:08 PM): see, i would be impressed by devotion so blind that you're actually willing to rumble in the bronx
R (12:59:17 PM): yes, well, she was a Yankees fan
R (12:59:30 PM): and a fashion model ... leading my friends to refer to her as "ZOOLANDER"
EJ (12:59:32 PM): it was doomed from the start!
R (12:59:35 PM): not exactly my finest hour
EJ (12:59:49 PM): ah, but you got good story potential out of it
R (1:00:24 PM): yes, and the ability to make a tangential Jackie Chan reference. what's not to love?
EJ (1:03:18 PM): bringing a whole new definition to "trivializing" one's relationships
EJ (1:03:40 PM): thank you, ladies and gentlemen! i'll be here all week! don't forget to tip your waitress!
R (1:03:49 PM): try the veal, folks!

Love the lovely work friends. Being able to finish someone's sentences trumps most everything about one's day.

Gimlets, huzzah! Oh, and Kerry...

Just returned from NDN debate watching party, where found self for first time stradling the line between Young Person and Grownup. Found interns and their friends absolutely intolerable (though I challenge all who live on the Hill to not find most interns and their ilk beyond awful, with their trust funds, bravado and utter incompetence forming a potent combination). Yet was still, even after 3 drinks, not there with the grownups. However, tonight was much closer to that almost-tangible feeling that one gets whilst conversing with grownups on par... only these are grownups whose names regularly appear in boldface (OK, in Rich Leiby, but still).

Was walking home from Lounge 201, and had one of those wonderful moments that make perfect sense but sour when I try to explain them to others. For a brief bit, I was doing exactly what I wanted to be doing, with the exact people, the exact time... and I just felt like the luckiest person. Maybe it's not where I want to be in a year, or five or ten. But for a few blocks, I was, as Madeleine L'Engle put it, "replete with me..." and completely happy with that.

Monday, October 11, 2004

The air is crisp, and so is my wit

So I haven't written here in a long time, since there was not a great deal to say. Much time and energy has been expended on whining about work and the Respected Boss (and varying stages of utter psychosis). Probably would have been theraputic to vent into online journal, to say nothing of being easier on innocent bystanders (aka friends and family) who bear the brunt of my pain. Am afraid, however, that if I document the horrors of the job too much, will be tempted to write tell-all roman a clef upon departing. This would not be wise. Then again, my track record would show that I do not stand up well to temptations that I rationally know are not wise.

Last week was especially brutal. Will accept responsibility and work to fix any mistakes I make, but it burrrrrrns me when I fix a mistake and am still blamed for it. Esp. when am blamed for it in front of others not in the office and made to look like moron, even though am in fact Solver of Problems.

Plus, I really hate that RB eats my Chocolate Teddy Grahams.

Have devised a strategy not unlike what used once upon a time to get through thesis (thereby proving once more that is is the means of process, and not the ends of learning historiography of 20 century social protest movements, that justify the tuition). Small stages. Obviously, have to make it through election. If make it through election, can make it through Thanksgiving. If make it through Thanksgiving, can make it through XMas. Then Inauguration (tho have found one upside to Kerry losing- no parties to plan! no, wait- I take it back-- SHIT, now we're cursed). Then, after Inauguration, when will have been with RB for decent amount of time, can decently start looking for new employment. Will it be easy? Hell no. But will it all be worth it if I can leave with this still on my resume and RB not set out to destroy me?